I Hate New Year's

Yes, I hate New Year's. There, I've said it! I hate it for all it's worth. I hate the noise. I hate the fireworks. I hate the hurrah. But most of all, I hate the disappointment.

At 12 years old, all I could wish for on New Year's Eve was to kiss a boy. And of course there was never one to be found. At least none that I cared to kiss. I should note here that I would have settled for ANY boy so long as he was near my age. Cuteness would have been a plus, but certainly not a necessity.

I don't know why I thought New Year's Eve was more important than any other day for a first kiss. Perhaps it was an instinctual need for renewal. Leaving the old behind, starting anew, a symbolic rebirth at the cusp of adulthood if you will. Whatever the reason, assuredly there was an extreme and needful desire to feel loved. An emotion that was scarce during my childhood.

Hidden away in my bedroom, behind closed doors, I escaped into my fantasy world many a late December afternoon. I played the scene in my mind a million times over. Just at the stroke of midnight our lips would meet in the perfect innocent kiss. Glittery confetti would rain down. We would be oblivious to the music, noise, and excitement all around us. We would ring in the new year with love and we would live happily ever after. It was just a silly girlish fantasy, but it was my fantasy and I was determined to live it.

It would be another four years before I would realize the dream though. Or at least some semblance of it. There in front of our best friend's mother, the dog, and Dick Clark, my dream was at long last a reality. But dreams aren't always meant to come true. That awkward kiss, and all it stood for, has only led to disappointment in the many years since.

The lack of glitter. The absence of fanfare. Ultimately it's brought me to a nasty realization.

I am a liar.

I tell untruths.

I don't lie to other people. Well not usually, not if I can help it.

No, I lie to myself.

I lie about how long it will take me to accomplish tasks. "I can have that afghan finished in 3 days." "I can clean this room in an hour." "I'll just check my email real quick."

I lie about when I will accomplish tasks. "I will vacuum after lunch." "I will take the the plastic to the recycling center tomorrow." "I will clean the junk room this weekend."

I lie about what tasks I will accomplish. "I will organize all of my yarn." "I will finish all my WIPs before starting another one." "I will start eating healthier this year."

I lie about the things I won't do. "I will not buy more yarn until I use what I have." "I will not leave the dishes in the sink overnight." "I won't care if you eat that chocolate cake in front of me."

But most of all, I lie about what I want for myself. My intentions are always good. "I want to get married." "I want to change jobs." "I want to buy a house." But in the end those wants lead to disappointment in one way or another.

Because of my lies I no longer make New Year's resolutions. In the past I would start out with the best of intentions. "This will be the year I loose all that weight. I'll show everyone next Christmas!" And when next Christmas comes around not only am I still my old fat self, I'm now depressed for not having met my goal. Even if I was the only one who knew of it.

So no more lies.

Nope.

None.

Nada.

I know at the end of the year I will look back, as I do every year, and think of those resolutions I didn't make; The dreams I didn't wish; The lies I didn't tell. And it will occur to me there is no escape. Whether I admit it to myself or not it is ingrained in me to wish for something better. A new start. A new life. And what time of year could be more appropriate to wish for a new beginning than the turning of the calendar? The epitome of symbology for renewed hope.

And as tempting as hope is, I resist.

And I remain a liar.

Slowly Recovering...

First of all I must apologize to you all for my extended absence. I honestly didn't mean to be away for this long. I know I still owe you all a square to represent December, and I will work on that and get it published soon, I promise. ;)

So what have I been doing all month? *sigh* Where to start?

December was especially stressful this year. I don't usually let the craziness of the season get to me so early in the month. I usually wait until the very last minute to totally freak out. LOL

Thanksgiving was the turning point. The reality of what little time there was left for gift making suddenly hit me, and this year making as many gifts as possible was essential since I don't currently have an income. And besides, that's what I bought all that yarn for! (I did use a good bit of it too.)

I was crocheting like a madwoman all month. I made afghans, amigurumi, hats, scarves, and all kinds of other things for friends and family. Almost none of which I thought to take pictures of. Arggh! I hate that about myself. :( I did take a picture of a Kermit I made, but the camera's batteries are currently dead so I'll have to share a picture of him next time...

Although I was still putting the finishing touches on Kermit at 2am Christmas morning, I did manage to get everything finished and wrapped in time. But there always has to be something that throws a wrench into the whole deal and this year was no different. The coup de grâce was the nastiest stomach bug you could ever wish NOT to encounter. It ripped it's way through the family one after another. It was like watching dominoes fall.

Son in law brought it home from work on the 23rd. From there, Ben had it by Christmas eve, Cyndi on Christmas day, Matthew (my son) on Saturday, and just when I had made a joke about being the "Last Man Standing"... I fell... I woke up Sunday morning with it and am just now getting my appetite and energy back. Cyndi joked about the ordeal saying, "Well at least we saved a bundle on groceries this week!" Gotta try to find the humor in there somewhere! :)

To try to keep this post from getting too boring, I think I'll give you a sneak peek of some things that you will be seeing sometime within the next few weeks/months from me. I still need to write patterns, but these are a few things I made a while back that I plan to share...

Some small stuffies...


More dishcloths...


And for the knitters and seal lovers...



And of course I have tons of WIPs and UFOs that I need to get back to. Including my pink button project, the bright grannieghan, Son in Law's camo-rippleghan, a knitted ghan that's been on the needles for 2 years (YIKES!) that I've resolved to finish this year (bigger YIKES!!), baby booties, adult & children's granny-style hats, fudge recipe, and lots of other ideas and patterns and cool fun stuff that's still trapped in my sorry little mind trying to break free. I'll get to them all eventually. Thanks for hanging in there with me! :)

Mistletoe

Finished Size: 12 inches square

MATERIALS
Approx. 4 ounces worsted weight yarn (Honeydew used for example)
US size "I" hook
Tapestry needle for weaving in ends

Gauge: Rnds 1-3 = 4 1/2 inches

SPECIAL STITCHES:
v-st: (dc, ch 1, dc) in designated space

ch 4

Round 1: 15 dc in 4th ch from hook, join with sl st in top of beg ch 3. (16 dc)

Round 2: ch 4 (counts as beg ch 3 + ch 1), dc in same st, ch 1, sc in next st, ch 1, (v-st in next st, ch 1, sc in next st, ch 1) 7 times, join with sl st in top of beg ch 3. (8 v-sts, 8 sc)

Round 3: sl st into next ch 1 sp, ch 1, sc in same sp, ch 4, (sc in next v-st, ch 4) 7 times, join with sl st in beg sc. (8 ch 4 sps, 8 sc)

Round 4: sl st into next ch 4 sp, ch 1, 5 sc in same sp, ch 1, skip next sc, (5 sc in next sp, ch 1, skip next sc) 7 times, join with sl st in beg sc. (40 sc, 8 ch 1 sps)

Round 5: ch 1, sc in same st, sc in next st, tr in next st, sc in each of next 2 sts, v-st in next ch 1 sp, (sc in each of next 2 sts, tr in next st, sc in each of next 2 sts, v-st in next ch 1 sp) 7 times, join with sl st in beg sc. (8 v-sts, 8 tr)

Round 6: ch 1, sc in same sp, sc in each of next 4 sts, skip next dc, 3 sc in next ch 1 sp, skip next dc, (sc in each of next 5 sts, skip next dc, 3 sc in next ch 1 sp, skip next dc) 7 times, join with sl st in beg sc. (64 sc)

Round 7: sl st in each of next 2 sts, ch 1, sc in same st, skip next st, dc in each of next 2 sts, v-st in next st, dc in each of next 2 sts, skip next st, sc in next st, skip next st, (dc in each of next 2 sts, v-st in next st, dc in each of next 2 sts, skip next st, sc in next st, skip next st) 7 times, join with sl st in beg sc. (8 v-sts)

Round 8: ch 4 (counts as beg ch 3 + ch 1), skip next st, dc in next st, ch 1, skip next st, [v-st in next ch 1 sp, ch 1, skip next st, (dc in next st, ch 1, skip next st) 3 times] 7 times, v-st in next ch 1 sp, ch 1, skip next st, dc in next st, ch 1, join with sl st in top of beg ch 3. (8 v-sts)

Round 9: ch 3, (dc in next ch 1 sp, dc in next st) twice, *(2 dc, ch 2, 2 dc) in next ch 1 sp, (dc in next st, dc in next ch 1 sp) 3 times, hdc in next st, ch 2, skip next ch 1 sp and next st, sl st in next ch 1 sp, ch 2, skip next st and ch 1 sp, hdc in next st**, (dc in next ch 1 sp, dc in next st) 3 times***, rep between * and *** twice more, repeat between * and ** once more, dc in next ch 1 sp, join with sl st in top of beg ch 3. (64 dc, 8 hdc)

Round 10: ch 2, dc in each of next 6 sts, *(2 dc, ch 2, 2 dc) in next ch 2 sp, dc in each of next 6 sts, hdc in next st, sc in each of next 2 sts, 2 sc in next ch 2 sp, sc in next st around the sl st and into the v-st from round 8, 2 sc in next ch 2 sp, sc in each of next 2 sts**, hdc in next st, dc in each of next 6 sts***, rep between * and *** twice more, rep bet * and ** once more, join with sl st in top of beg ch 2. (64 dc, 36 sc)

Round 11: ch 4 (counts as beg ch 3 + ch 1), skip next st, dc in each of next 3 sts, ch 1, skip next st, dc in each of next 3 sts, *(2 dc, ch 2, 2 dc) in next ch 2 sp, (dc in each of next 3 sts, ch 1, skip next st) 6 times, dc in each of next 3 sts, rep from * twice more, (2 dc, ch 2, 2 dc) in next ch 2 sp, (dc in each of next 3 sts, ch 1, skip next st) 4 times, dc in each of next 2 sts, join with sl st in top of beg ch 3. (100 dc, 24 ch 1 sp)

Round 12: sl st into next ch 1 sp, ch 1, sc in same sp, sc in next st, tr in next st, sc in next st, sc in next ch 1 sp, sc in next st, tr in next st, sc in each of next 3 sts, *(sc, ch 2, sc) in next ch 2 sp, sc in each of next 3 sts, (tr in next st, sc in next st, sc in next ch 1 sp, sc in next st) 6 times, tr in next st, sc in each of next 3 sts, rep from * twice more, (sc, ch 2, sc) in next ch 2 sp, sc in each of next 3 sts, (tr in next st, sc in next st, sc in next ch 1 sp, sc in next st) 4 times, tr in next st, sc in next st, join with sl st in beg sc. (104 sc, 28 tr)

Round 13: sl st in next st, ch 3, dc in each of next 2 sts, ch 1, skip next st, dc in each of next 3 sts, ch 1, skip next st, dc in each of next 2 sts, *(2 dc, ch 2, 2 dc) in next ch 2 sp, dc in each of next 2 sts, ch 1, skip next st, (dc in each of next 3 sts, ch 1, skip next st) 7 times, dc in each of next 2 sts, rep from * twice more, (2 dc, ch 2, 2 dc) in next ch 2 sp, dc in each of next 2 sts, ch 1, skip next st, (dc in each of next 3 sts, ch 1, skip next st) 5 times, join with sl st in top of beg ch 3. (116 dc, 32 ch 1 sp)

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Pattern designed and written by April Moreland
© 2010 All rights reserved

Taming the Peanut Butter Fudge

Our family's only true heirloom recipe is Grammy's Peanut Butter Fudge. It has been a holiday staple since Grammy was a child herself. She tells us she learned how to make it from her brothers who would make it often. She's not sure who they learned it from. Nevertheless, the holidays just wouldn't be worth celebrating without a big plate sitting on the counter for us to gorge ourselves on at will.

Knowing this, one might think this octogenarian (84 to be exact) would acquiesce to sharing her long guarded recipe to at least one trusted family member. Nope. Oh she pretends to share the recipe. She'll readily share a list of ingredients, but the amounts she gives are so vague, and the directions so twisted, that even the most revered chef would have difficulty producing an appetizing result.

Grammy's Fudge Recipe (and the dialog that ensues) verbatim:

2 parts sugar
1 part Pet milk
Skippy peanut butter
Hershey's Cocoa Powder if you want chocolate

"How much peanut butter?"

"Oh, I don't know. I just put a spoonful in there."

[*Scratching head*] "Spoonful?"

"Yeah, a spoonful."

"What size spoon?"

"The big one I use to make fudge."

See what I mean? LOL

I've since figured out that her "fudge spoon" is a serving spoon taken from her old stainless serving set. But that doesn't really mean anything as far as measurements go because she doesn't actually measure with it. She just uses it to dip big globs of peanut butter out of the jar.

One other little thing I picked up is she always fails to mention that you need to reconstitute the milk; so it's actually 1/2 part Pet milk + 1/2 part water. I don't know if that would actually make a difference in the way it turns out, but I know in her mind it does.

You see, Grammy genuinely prides herself on the fact that no one is able to duplicate her results. She brags each year that neither Aunt Peggy nor my mother could ever get their attempts to turn out right. I truly think she wants to take the recipe with her to the grave.

But then I came along... >:) *evil grin*

It's been about 20 years or so since I first asked her to show me how to make the fudge. At the time she almost seemed anxious, eagerly sharing her "secrets." For instance: you MUST use a heavy aluminum pot, you MUST use Pet milk, you MUST use Skippy peanut butter, and here's the key to her satisfaction... a candy thermometer is NOT accurate enough, only the cold water method will do.

Of course these are her own superstitions. Although the specific brands may affect taste, they most likely won't affect whether or not the fudge sets up properly. And most certainly a candy thermometer is way more accurate than the cold water method, and that is why it's the key to her satisfaction. How many people these days are familiar with the cold water method? That's why candy thermometers were invented after all; because of the uncertainty of other methods. But I was there to learn, so I tried to watch as she did her "thing."

I say tried because she kept doing things while my back was turned! She wouldn't let me measure anything. She would just show me quickly and dump it in the pan before I could assess how much of each ingredient she was actually using. And forget a re-do. Oh no no no. Once is enough. But I got one over on her.

After she had everything in the pot for chocolate fudge, she turned it over to me. I prepared the tray for the finished fudge. I buttered it, then added some nuts and marshmallows. I thought she was going to have a heart attack. "It won't work, you're going to ruin it," she insisted.

I ignored her as I stirred, and stirred, and stirred. Checked for soft ball stage, and then stirred some more. Finally I called it done. She must have told me 30 times that it wasn't going to set up. "Now it's going to take at least 10 or 15 tries until you get it to set up right." Oh boy was she LIVID when it set up perfect. I was elated! But it wasn't a true victory. I still didn't know the ingredients list.

I asked her a couple of years ago to show me again how to make it. "I'm measuring as we go and writing everything down this time," I said. She reluctantly agreed. But when I came home from work on the night she was supposed to show me, there it was sitting on the table... cooling... Grrr!

I guess she was still holding a grudge for my past success. But she wouldn't even show Cyndi when she asked to watch next time. Yeah, she most definitely wants to take that recipe to the grave! Why are people like that about recipes? I'm proud to share my favorite recipes! *sigh*

Now I, being a culinary school genius (not really, but I did take 2 years of Food Services in High School... that counts, right?), have decided to go on a quest. The quest for duplicating Grammy's fudge. She's given me more than enough clues over the years, and with my (slightly) better-than-average skills in the kitchen, I trust in myself that I can do this!

I've been meaning to do it for years. Take it upon myself to duplicate, measure, and record this recipe once and for all. I guess I was being lazy in hopes that she would finally give in and let me take the easy road to fudgy goodness. Oh well... here goes!

Sugar: check
Pet Milk: check
Peter Pan Peanut Butter -- I'm a rebel, what can I say!: check
Hershey's Cocoa -- Cyndi wants chocolate: check
Heavy Pot: Not aluminum, but oh well! check
My very own "fudge spoon": check

Wish me luck!

Giving Thanks

Thanksgiving Day comes, by statute, once a year; to the honest man it comes as frequently as the heart of gratitude will allow." Edward Sandford Martin

It's that time of year when we begin to reflect on the happenings of the year we are leaving behind and look ahead with anticipation at what the months ahead might hold. It's time to shed old habits and make new resolutions; time to hold loved ones near even if you are miles apart; time to forgive misdeeds both in others and in ourselves; time to be appreciative of everyone and everything in our lives; and most importantly, time to be thankful for simply being.

The weeks between Thanksgiving and New Years Day have always been my favorite time of year. Even as a child, while my classmates were longing for summer vacation, I was excited by the promise of cooler weather. This time of year brings out the best in me. I feel happy, energetic, hopeful, and very domestic. I want to clean and organize. I want to cook and bake. I want to crochet and craft. I want to see, feel, and do all of my favorite things! Nothing fantastic or over the top, just simple, everyday things...

These are a few of my favorite things. I'm thankful for each and every one of them, not just today, but everyday.

First and foremost... Family
Hugs from my favorite little guy :)
Yarn, yarn, yarn!
Artificial flowers so I can bask in their beauty year round.
A thriving Fred still looking spiffy in his wool sweater
Wind chimes & Sun catchers. They just make me happy :)
The oh so tantalizing aroma of fresh baked yummies
My little red wagon
Buttons, LOTS of buttons!
Sun Crystals so my days may be sweet and headache free!
Attic24 whose colorful posts bring inspiration and add brightness to my days
YOU, my cyber friends; my crochet inspiration. Without you this blog would have no purpose. Thank you for reading, following, encouraging, and just being here. I appreciate you all. :)

HAPPY THANKSGIVING!

Chocolate & Raspberries

My latest finished ghan. It's for a charity challenge in Crochet Swaps Galore. It will be going to Patriot's Ridge Nursing Home in Ohio. The colors are from Red Heart. They are called Cherry Chip and Coffee, but they remind me more of Chocolate and Raspberries. (Yummm!)

I'm amazed at how quickly I finished this one. I started it this past Sunday on a whim. I would have finished it sooner than last night but I kind of wore myself out initially. I made 9 squares that first day! My hands were SOOOO tired that I didn't crochet for 2 days. LOL But I finally finished up joining the squares and putting on the border last night. I'm really happy with it. I think the colors are great. I hope it keeps someone very warm & cozy and feeling loved this winter. :)

And on a sad note... Fred is not doing so good. Well, his partner anyway. As it turns out, I think Fred was actually 2 plants. I had noticed the one side was looking a little droopy and dark, but yesterday when I went to pull one of the shriveled leaves off, they all went tumbling... *sigh* BUT the good news is Fred looks quite healthy and vibrant. Maybe I'll develop that green thumb after all!

Farewell Freda :(

Pink Christmas

I've been playing with colors again, but this time there is no future afghan in mind.


I love love LOVE buttons. Probably more than Yarn! Yes, I said it. Buttons are AWESOME! :)

And I have LOTS of them. I won't show you my collection just yet. I have future plans for revealing that secret, but for now just know that I have a LOT of them and I love looking at them and playing with them and dreaming up future projects for them.


These are some that I pulled the other day on a whim. I've been wanting to make some flowers like these for a while now.


Off to find some wire...